Family

An Update on Chocobo!

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It’s been a while since I’ve done any sort of update on Baby Chocobo! The last time I posted about him was when he was nine months! He’s nineteen months now, has grown a lot, and we are so proud of him. Here’s what he’s been up to lately:

Social/Emotional

His temperament is relatively relaxed. He throws maybe one tantrum per day, but he’s always quick to get over it. He loves music and dancing, and he loves to make noise! This boy will bang any two things together as he screams in delight! He’s pretty easy to amuse and he loves going to school and seeing his friends each day – there’s one friend in particular that he talks about all the time at home! He’s pretty observant, so it can be hard to sneak things past him, and he’s always getting into things on account of his curiosity.

Language

We can tell that he understands a lot of what we are saying to him. His receptive language is pretty good. His expressive language is also developing well. He’s saying about 45 words now that he uses consistently. He also loves to imitate different animals – his favorites are dogs, cats, monkeys, bears, birds, and lions.

Motor Skills

Our son is really strong. I’ve seen him carry things like textbooks and full bottles of laundry detergent clear across the room. He can move certain pieces of furniture and when he is thrashing about in one of those temper tantrums I mentioned earlier, it almost takes two people to restrain him! He started walking at nine months and really took off from there. He is running, climbing, jumping, throwing, kicking, dancing, and enjoys “wrestling” with his daddy. I think it’s safe to say that he’ll probably be involved in some sort of physical extracurricular activities as he gets older.

What’s Up Next…

Since birth, our son has slept in our bed. Now that he is getting closer to two years old, I am starting to slowly transition him to sleeping in his own room. He’s got his toddler bed (a crib turned day-bed) set up and I’ve started putting him in there for naps. Another big change on the horizon will be weaning.

I still nurse our boy (mostly at night) and although I’m not rushing him to quit, I know that it’ll soon be time to end this stage of his care. I enjoy nursing, and although I’m looking forward to having my body back, I know I’m going to miss it! It’s hard to believe he’s getting so old!

All told, I love being a mom. Despite our struggle with infertility, I was never able to imagine a life without children, and I’m so grateful that I get to experience these things.

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Education, Infertility

Working With Children. Coping With Infertility.

Below is an updated version of a blog entry I wrote last year for National Infertility Awareness week. I’d taken the entry off-line and stopped blogging under that name, but since it is NIAW again, I decided to re-post! I hope it will serve as an encouragement to those who work with children while struggling with infertility!

As a child-care provider, I know how hard it is to go to work every day with children that you absolutely adore, and return home every night with the empty feeling of not being able to have your own. It sucks, frankly. It sucks to get attached to children whose lives you will only be in for a short period of time. It sucks to be around mothers who talk excitedly with one another about their child’s development and the fun things they do with their kids during the weekend. It sucks when you see families that aren’t so great, and you wonder why they are lucky enough to have children they don’t want and you are unlucky enough to want children you don’t have. I get it. And yet, no matter how you’re feeling, you still have to show up to work with a professional and cheerful attitude. You still have to be around and discuss infants, toddlers, and children all.of.the.time. You still have to keep up with all the latest parenting trends and child-development developments. You still have to bring your A-game and make life wonderful for these kids while they’re with you.

So, how do you cope?

Take it minute by minute.

Your infertility is something about which you can feel hopeful, indifferent, and totally depressed within just a few minutes! I have certainly experienced times at work where I have felt blessed and content just to be around my wonderful kids, knowing that at the right time I will get pregnant and have my own. Less than two minutes later, I’m trying to hold it all together as my kids pile up in my lap and ask me to read them a story. You have to deal responsibly with each emotion as it arises. Acknowledge and validate each emotion, but remember that you still have a job to do and the kids you’re with right now are counting on you right now. Don’t let them down.

Remember that many of the children we work with did not come as easily as we think.

Sometimes we look at our daycare kids and think that their moms are so lucky to just be able to pop out babies so easily! I once babysat for one of my students, and his mom revealed to me that they had tried to get pregnant for three years before he was born! Another of my kids’ parents suffered four miscarriages before finally having her son. Hearing these stories really was a great reminder that alot of the parents I am serving have had their own lengthy struggles with infertility as well! It is encouraging to know that after all their struggle, they were finally able to concieve!

Remain grateful for the things you can do, while you can do them.

As professionals who work with children, we have the advantage of not romanticizing motherhood! I have heard some say that a profession in child-care is a form of birth control, because we know the nitty gritty details of what children are really like and we have a pretty good idea of the all-consuming effort it takes to keep a child happy and healthy! Whenever I am hanging out with my husband, I feel grateful that we have the kind of strong and loving relationship that children should be brought into. It’s nice when we can randomly decide to do things together. And I love my lazy Saturdays. Of course, the “inconveniences” of losing free time and sleep won’t bother me as much when I become a mother – because I have waited years for the chance to sit up all night with a fussy baby – but since I currently do not have that responsibility, I try to enjoy the lazy Saturdays and the impromptu Netflix nights with my husband.

Don’t lose yourself in your infertility!

I think that this is probably the most important item on the list. It is incredibly easy to become obsessive with all the charting, doctor visits, symptom spotting, and online comiserating that goes on while you’re in the cycle of two week waits. You can lose yourself. You can forget that you are not your infertility. I will admit that I desperately want to become a mother. If you follow my blog, you know that I feel motherhood is more than a desire – but a calling that God has placed on my life. But I have other interests, too. I have other goals. I have hobbies that don’t relate to childcare and childhood development, and I will not allow my infertility to consume my life. Get back in touch with who you were and what you loved before you started trying for children. Take the opportunity to soak yourself in those things, because hopefully all your free time will soon be zapped away by your precious little bundle of hard work!

Obviously, these things are more easily said (or written) than done. I know that. It’s very hard to keep a good attitude about your infertility, since there is never really an ‘end in sight.’ But if infertility is something you struggle with – and especially if you’re struggling with this while working with children – you should be proud of your ability to bravely and optimistically face what is likely one of the hardest and loneliest times of your life. Approached with the right attitude, you can learn amazing things during this time and your future children (and the world around you) will be better off on account of the things that you have learned how to endure.

Family, Infertility

Pregnancy after Infertility

Last year, I read the blog of a woman who, after years of infertility, had finally become pregnant. She mentioned that though she had sympathy for those who were still struggling with infertility, she could no longer empathize. It was as if the news of her pregnancy had wiped away all the years of pain that she had experienced, seemingly to the point where she could no longer relate to those within the infertile community. I remember reading that, and wondering if the all-consuming pain of childlessness would be completely erased from my memory the minute I held a BFP in my hands. But that hasn’t been my experience. I haven’t forgotten how it feels to be infertile, and as this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week begins, I find myself in the odd position of being completely able to empathize with those trapped in the endless cycle of treatments and two week waits, while feeling simultaneously undeserving of and grateful for the gift of life that God has deigned to give me.

Pregnancy after infertility, in my experience, has been an interesting emotional adventure. I begged God for this for so long, and now that it’s been granted – I find myself wondering why God gave me this gift as opposed to someone who has been waiting longer or someone who has been through more trauma than I in their pursuit of parenthood. When people congratulate me, they sometimes say that I “deserve”this, and though I appreciate that and take it as a compliment – I also know that it is not true. I was given this gift as a grace and a mercy from God. I did nothing to deserve it, just as the childless woman has done nothing to deserve childlessness. I am overwhelmingly grateful. But my gratitude doesn’t negate the fact that there are still so many thousands of women who are in pain, waiting on their miracles. And hundreds whose prayers for miracles will never be answered with a “yes.” The fact that God has seen fit to gift me in this way humbles me, more than you could ever imagine.

Another effect of pregnancy after infertility is my inability to feel completely comfortable with pregnant women for whom pregnancy came easily. As I read books, articles, or forums written by women who got pregnant ‘on cue,’ I find myself feeling alienated. Their light-hearted attitudes toward getting pregnant and their ability to complain with ease about their various pregnancy symptoms seems almost sacrilegious to me! I understand that they are just venting and “being honest,” which they certainly have the right to do, but I can’t make a statement like “I wish I weren’t so sick!” without feeling like I’d be wishing away my child! Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t felt amazing over the course of the past few weeks – but my ability to be consistently grateful for my “ailments” has surprised even me!

I have a heightened sense of fear of things like loss and secondary infertility. It took what feels like an eternity to finally achieve this pregnancy, I would be crushed if I could not carry this child to delivery. And crushed if getting pregnant again took just as long – or longer. So I will cherish every moment of pain, illness, or exhaustion – because who can say that this will ever happen to me again?

Finally, there is a bit of a change of identity. For so long, I subconsciously have identified myself as an infertile. I hoped for a child, but over time I became less and less attached to the idea that it would ever actually happen. Now that is has, I am not sure what to make of things! Honestly, I am still in a bit of shock and disbelief. We’ll see how that sorts itself out over time.

I am still praying and hoping daily for those of you who are where I was. It’s such a tough road, and no one should have to do it alone. I hope that, this week, I can do my part to raise awareness and support for those still fighting to become parents.

Family, Infertility

Happy Birthday To Me!

This has been my best birthday month, ever.

My husband and I have talked often about living a slower pace of life, living near water, and cutting back on expenses in order to put away more money. We have schemed and dreamed and tried to figure out how we could make it possible, but it always seemed like something got in the way of us accomplishing this. On Monday, March 16th, my husband recieved word at work that his company wanted to promote him to a new position – in a new state. He will be making more money, we will be living in a significantly cheaper area than where we are now, and we will be living in a coastal city! This move is essentially giving us everything that we have asked God for – and just in time for summer! The move has been a whirlwind, though. My husband was asked to begin his new position immediately, and we have been living in hotels while he works and we look for a place to live. I cannot believe how quickly things are moving, and yet I sometimes feel that things aren’t moving quickly enough! I am so ready to finalize our living arrangements, get out of these hotels, and for consistently warm days in which I can spend some time at the beach! But as in all things, I will patiently await the day when we are settled into a home and laying around on the hot sand! This has been God’s first birthday gift to me this year!

God’s second birthday gift to me comes with a trigger warning. If you are struggling with infertility and are having a low day, this next paragraph might be something you’ll want to skip over.

If you’re a regular reader here, then you’ll know that infertility is something my husband and I have dealt with for nearly 5 years. We have prayed constantly for children and have, for the most part, not lost hope that parenthood will – one way or another – be in our future. After two doctors told me that there was nothing more they could do to help me, we began working with a system called NaPro Technology in order to diagnose and solve our infertility. We began that program in September of last year, found a new doctor who gave us hope for a diagnosis and a solution, and have faithfully followed the program for the past six months. On March 17th – one day after my husband found out about his promotion – we found out that we are pregnant. Yes, we are pregnant! It came as such a shock, because I never expected the progesterone treatmeants to work on the first try!

I am only six weeks along, and I know that most people do not share their news this early. However, I am sharing because I want to honor and respect life – instead of waiting until that life is a certain age, I want to celebrate the fact that there is life that has been created and lives right now. But I also want to remember that even as I celebrate the gift of life that I am humbled to carry, there are so many people who are still in the depths of their pursuit of parenthood. Please join me in continuing to pray for those who are still waiting on their miracles! Please remember to continue to pray for those who have lost their miracles! Please pray for those families who are in the process of adopting or fostering! And please remember to pray for the safety of those babies who are on their way into the world, and for the families who are waiting to meet them!

Infertility

5 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Infertility

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine told me that she and her fiancé were wondering about what types of things they need to consider (medically speaking) as they get ready to plan a family. As we chatted about all of the different medical concerns that are part of the world of infertility, it got me thinking about the things that I wish I had known before my infertility journey began. Things that, perhaps, could have helped me to waste less time in my search for a resolution. If you are under 35 years of age, a doctor will not generally see you for infertility until you have tried to conceive for at least one year. If you are over 35 years of age, you may be seen for infertility after 6 months of trying. But when you want a baby, and month after month yields only negative results, six months to a year can feel like an eternity! Our first official year of trying was, for me, a living hell! I kept feeling like there was something more I could do to help our situation, yet I could not get any official medical advice because we had not been trying long enough!

But there are some things you can do during – or even before – your first year of trying to conceive (TTC) that will help speed up the process when you are ready to grow your family. Although I am not a doctor or medical expert, I do want to share some things that I have learned along the way that could help anyone who fears the potential inability to conceive. Please remember that these are my thoughts and experiences, each infertility journey is different, and you always need to consult with your doctor before making serious decisions about your health. Here are five of the things that I wish I had known, before we began trying to conceive.

I wish I had known that hormonal birth control can actually harm future fertility.

My friend and I discussed the sad hilarity of the fact that when you are in high school, your sex-ed class scares you into believing that you can get pregnant at any time! The result is that there are millions of women who think it is easier to get pregnant than it actually is, causing them to use forms of birth control that could actually (temporarily or permanently) prevent them from becoming pregnant in the future!

The truth is that you can only get pregnant in the days leading up to and the day of or right after ovulation. Ovulation happens when your ovary releases an egg into your fallopian tubes. The egg only lives between 12 and 24 hours. Your partner’s sperm, on the other hand, can live between 3 and 5 days! Therefore, the best time for conception is 5 days before ovulation, the day of ovulation, and the day right after ovulation. Knowing this would have helped me, because I would have just kept track of my cycles – instead of using harmful birth control pills that may have contributed to my problems with infertility!

I wish I had known how to track my cycles.

If you know how to read your body, then you may suspect infertility long before you are at the point where you want to try for children. It is helpful to learn what the different types of vaginal discharge indicate. If your menstrual cycles are too short (21 days or less from the start of one period to the start of another), this may suggest hormonal deficiencies or luteal phase defect. If there are more than 35 days from the start of one period to the  start of another period, this may indicate that you do not ovulate, or that you ovulate irregularly. Keeping track of whether you spot or bleed between periods, and of whether your periods are heavy, painful, or irregular can help also. In my case, my short (24 day) menstrual cycles were indicating a progesterone deficiency – something I probably could have taken care of long before trying to grow our family. By using information gained through discharge observations, awareness of menstruation, and through charting your basal body temperatures –  you can become familiar with your body’s patterns and find potential concerns to resolve before you begin trying to conceive. And by having an awareness of any potential concerns, you are better able to advocate for yourself when you are finally able to see a doctor.

I wish I had known how many different aspects of your life can be related to infertility.

There are some obvious factors of infertility – like past sexual trauma, sexually transmitted infections, or past abortion – but there are some more subtle factors as well. Do you clean your cat’s litter-box? Do you eat a lot of soy products? What kinds of products do you use to clean your home? These subtle factors will not affect everyone who is trying to conceive, but these are things that a person who is TTC should be aware of.

I wish I had known (earlier) about a good infertility support group.

It wasn’t until three and a half years into our infertility journey that I found any sort of support and/or infertility resources. I am so grateful for my group of gals who are a wealth of information and have really helped me to make good medical and life-habit decisions. Having a support group also helps you to sort through all of the various aspects of infertility – the emotions, the medical testing, the insurance questions, the “let’s try this and see if it works” diet, exercise, and intercourse ideas. There will be so much symptom-spotting and bodily changes that you go through as you try different medicines and treatment plans. There are so many questions that you will have about different diagnostic procedures and surgeries – and you can glean from the experience and wisdom that the women in a support group will be able to give you! If you are facing infertility – don’t do it alone! The knowledge you gain in a support group may actually help you to get pregnant faster!

I wish I had known how expensive infertility-related tests and treatments would be!

If you think you may be facing infertility, now is a good time to check with your insurance to find out what they do (and more likely what they don’t) cover. Since infertility is not considered to be “life-threatening,” insurance companies do not always cover infertility related costs. In addition, we live in a culture where pregnancy is seen as a “disease” or something to be avoided – as opposed to being the natural state of a healthy, sexually active woman. Insurance companies, for the mots part, have taken on the attitude that pregnancy is to be avoided (notice that most insurance will cover birth control, but not the costs of helping you achieve a pregnancy). Search for an insurance plan that will help cover your infertility costs, save money like crazy, and/or live in one of the fifteen states where at least partial insurance for infertility is mandated! In my experience, though, even in a state where infertility coverage is mandated, all of your expenses still may not be covered!

Here is a list of some of the tests you may need for an infertility diagnosis:

  • Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) / Hysteroscopy (to check for tubal blockages or uterine deformities).
  • Pelvic/Transvaginal Ultrasounds.
  • Bloodwork to test hormonal levels.
  • Postcoital testing (to test how seminal and cervical fluids react to one another).
  • Laparoscopy/Endometrial Biopsy (to diagnose, remove, and test endometriosis/endometrial lining).
  • Semen Analysis.
  • Follicle Stimulating Hormone tests.
  • Anti-Mullerian Hormone Levels test (to check egg quality).

Not all women will undergo each test, and this is by no means an exhaustive list of the different types of testing available. In the meantime, while you wait to begin TTC – learn to pay attention to your body, eat well, exercise regularly, drink enough water, and avoid toxins to be in the best shape for the beginning of your TTC journey!

Baby dust to you!

If you struggle with infertility, what are some things you wish you’d known beforehand?

Christianity, Infertility

My Favorite Infertility Scriptures

Recently I was in a conversation in which someone asked what each person’s favorite scriptures for infertility were. I have plenty of favorite scriptures, but I passed on answering the question because I hadn’t ever thought about favorite infertility scriptures. In general, I don’t like taking scripture out of the context in which it was written and randomly applying it to my life! At the same time, I know that the Bible carries truths that can be used by anyone, in any situation, at any time. So I thought (not too) long and (not too) hard about the scriptures that have resonated with me the most through these last few years of infertility, and – if you are currently sinking in the gaping abyss that is barrenness – I hope that these several scriptures will encourage you, too!

Psalm 13

“How long, Oh Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God! Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, and my enemy will say, “I have prevailed”; my foes will rejoice because I am shaken. But I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has dealt bountifully with me.”

When you have been trying to get pregnant for years, and women all around you seem to be able get pregnant simply by washing the dishes with their husbands, you start to wonder “How long shall my [infertility] be exalted over me?”  This psalm reminds me of Rachel in Genesis, when she said to her husband, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” It can be that way, sometimes. And that’s normal. But this Psalm reminds us to trust in God’s steadfast love. No matter how badly you feel, God hasn’t forgotten you. And it reminds us to rejoice in His salvation. Ultimately, our lives are not about us. They are about Christ and His mission to restore our world. Whatever tragedies happen to me in this life seem so insignificant when I think of the fact that I will live eternally in a perfect world. And I’m grateful to Jesus for making that possible!

Job 1:21

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. May the name of the Lord be praised.”

A huge question that humanity has always asked is why bad things happen to good people. Job had just received the news that all of his children, servants, donkeys, sheep, and camels had been killed, stolen, and burned in ludicrous freak accidents and random invasions. He had literally lost everything he loved and everything he owned in one short afternoon. But Job was a good person. God Himself had referred to Job as “blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” The truth is, no one can escape tragedy. Even Jesus faced tragedy as He was crucified. And yet, Job’s response to his loss is that he is going to praise the Lord. I honestly can’t answer the question of why infertility happens to wonderful people who would make amazing parents, while those who do not want or respect their children are easily getting ‘knocked up’ all the time. But I love the example that Job sets. God’s way of doing things rarely makes sense to us. Nevertheless, He is an all-knowing God and He knows what He is doing. In the end, God restored Job to a position that was better than the one he’d had before. And whether in this life or the next, God will do that for us too.

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

“So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.”

When I think of all the different types of illnesses in the world – and specifically illnesses that relate to or cause infertility – I think about the body wasting away. I often feel like my own body is wasting away. I used to have so much more energy, I used to be able to stay up late at night, work long hours, play sports, and take long walks (or runs!) without getting tired. These days, I don’t get through half a day without a chest pain, or a muscle spasm, or an ache somewhere on my body. I feel sad for friends of mine whose younger years were filled with so many medical issues that they were unable to carry children and are now past the point of ability (or desire) to do so. I sometimes feel guilty for having hope that I will one day carry my own child, when it seems so unfair to those who’ve never had that opportunity. If I get pregnant, how would that make them feel? But, when we focus more on what we cannot see (our inner nature), we realize that we all have our challenges that can help strengthen us. And these “slight momentary afflictions” are not the end of our stories. The hardships we face as infertiles – and in life in general – are preparing for us an “eternal weight of glory,” if we can learn to have the right attitude. God will redeem our stories, regardless of whether or not they end in pregnancy. So, don’t lose heart.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God.”

Paul (the author of Corinthians) is the King of making sentences longer than they need to be, but this passage is simply a reminder that when we go through various challenges in our lives – we are supposed to use our experiences in order to help others who are going through the same thing. Our world is so heart-broken. There are so many people with so many different types of challenges and traumas – and we can’t do something about everything. But we can do something. At the heart of the gospel is the story of a God who suffers in order to lighten our burdens. And we can live out that example each day as we suffer on the behalf of others, using what we have suffered through as an opportunity to lighten the load of another person.

Psalm 37:23-24

Our steps are made firm by the Lord, when He delights in our way; though we stumble, we shall not fall headlong, for the Lord holds us by the hand.”

It’s a lot of responsibility to think that, with everything you are going through already, you have to find the emotional energy to continue to trust and worship God, focus more on the whole of His story than on your personal pain, and tap into your sufferings in order to help someone else! Actually it’s impossible to be able to do all of that consistently. Sure, you’ll have your good days, but you will have bad days. You will have fits of extreme envy. You will be angry. You will feel spiritually dead. You will have pity parties. But if the Lord delights in your way, though you stumble, you will not fall headlong. He holds you by the hand. You don’t have to be perfect. He already is.

I hope that one or more of my favorite infertility verses has encouraged you in your journey to parenthood! Comment below or on Facebook to share your favorite infertility (or general hard-times) verses with me! I’d love to hear it!

Family, General, Infertility

Injection Day!

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I have had such an up and down week since last Thursday, when I began this cycle’s round of testing and treatment.

The first portion of my medical instructions for this cycle included daily bloodwork and transvaginal exams that began at the end of my follicular phase. The experience was pretty uncomfortable, and extremely suspenseful as I waited each day to see whether or not I would ovulate. The biggest concern of this past week revolved around the fact that there was some confusion about the development of my dominant follicle. I’d been told that it had grown from 1.4cm, to 1.7cm, and then to 2.2cm! As my follicle grew, I felt confident that it would soon rupture (a good thing!).

While in class on Tuesday morning, I got a phone call from my doctor saying that my follicle had actually not grown to 2.2cm, and that for the past few days it had remained at 1.7cm. This was the last thing I wanted to hear. I feared it would mean that I wouldn’t ovulate, or that something was wrong with it to have caused it to stop growing. It’s bad enough that I have low progesterone and (potential) endometriosis. I didn’t want to find out that I had ovulation issues as well.

Thankfully, ovulation did happen and I was able to stop going to my daily exams. The woman who performed my transvaginal exams assured me that my follicle had grown to 2.2cm, and that there must have been some confusion in the paperwork they’d sent my doctor. I don’t know what happened, but I am glad that portion of this cycle is over! The next set of instructions was to start my progesterone injections.

On one hand, I was excited for these injections. My doctor hinted at the possibility that I could be conceiving and losing my children without ever knowing it, because of how low my levels of progesterone are. I’m praying that, if I do concieve this cycle, these progesterone injections will be enough to allow implantation and save my child’s life.
On the other hand – the needle is huge! I’ve never had a shot with a needle as big as the needles we are using. And being an avid “googler,” I have seen some pretty scary  progesterone injection horror stories!

So, how did it go?

A friend of mine sent me an instructional video to watch as hubby prepared to give me the injection. Using the video and the written instructions from our doctor, we prepared and drew up the progesterone into the syringe. I laid down on my stomach, shut my eyes, and expected to feel the sharp jab of a large needle entering my skin. But instead of me, it was husband who ended up yelling “Ouch!”

He had accidentally stabbed himself, trying to get the cap off of the needle. In his defense, those caps were really difficult to get off!

After washing the blood off of his finger and changing needles, we started over. He stuck the needle in so quickly that I didn’t even feel it going in! Afterward, he spent the next two and a half minutes injecting all of the progesterone into my skin. The injection actually hurt more after the shot than during. The entire left side of my rear and left leg was numb for over two hours afterward, and almost immediately after the injection I began to feel sleepy and subdued.

I let hubby massage the progesterone into my skin, walked around our apartment for a bit, and then laid down with a heating pad. It might be silly, but I read somewhere that pineapples help with implantation – so I bought a pineapple and have been eating it all week.

Hey, I need all the help (and hope) I can get!

Despite the busyness of being monitored, tested, and injected this cycle – I am happy to finally be doing something. For too many months, hubby and I had been blindly trying to concieve with no idea of what could be wrong or what to do about it. I am so grateful for my new doctor and for her aggression in helping us get to the bottom of our infertility.

All in all, I’d say my first progesterone injection was a success!

What was your first progesterone injection like?